Separate But Together
by BaSingTei
Summary: Battling armies of Homeworld gems and fighting with your inner demons feel the same difficult wise, but the latter can't be brought to it's knees with a fusion and a sword. Battle those demons human style and learn to deal with human things. This story begins with Steven at 18 and Connie at 17.
1. Chapter 1 : The First Step

Some things come with age. Some come with experience. And sometimes you just stumble into the unknown like walking on a tightrope and you somehow make it through even though you looked down. That is what puberty is like. Its this scary monster that you don't know how to defeat but gradually you realize the monster is really just lost and scared, like you.

X

"Oh man, these records are from so long ago." Steven laughed.

"Hey! Those are classics!" Connie defended her music library. Steven had her mp3 player and was going through her music, making goofy comments.

"No seriously! I think this one is older than Pearl!" He laughed and Connie snatched it out of his hand. He frowned and dropped his hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. Can we listen to it?"

"Why don't we listen to one of yours first? Then you can hear the sophistication in contrast." She smirked and he smiled again. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone playing an up-beat song that he knew all the lyrics to.

As the song began he set the phone on the kitchen counter and held his hand out for her. They had done this a thousand times. She was trained over the last few years to take his hand, stand, and dance with him. And so she did. She gripped his hand and he pulled her up and for a split second something was different. The feel of her hand in his. The way she stopped just inches away from him. It sent a sudden wave of an emotion he couldn't recognize. It felt like embarrassment mixed with surprise almost. It lasted a fraction of a second and just as quick as it came it went when she smiled and let go of his hand.

He brushed off the feeling and started to dance with his best friend, singing the lyrics along with the song. When the chorus came he grabbed her hand and spun her around, making her laugh. They had come a long way from dancing as children. Their moves had advanced from a loose play on ring-around-the-rosy to an actual dance. He spun her and she came back to him, spinning out again and meeting his hands, completely in sync. This was when they usually lost themselves.

Steven's gem started to glow and he heard a voice in his head scream "No! Wait!" but it was too late. She spun back into his arms and the pink light blinded them. emotions were numb for a fraction of a second and when eyes were opened, the two were one. Stevonnie stood where the two had been and there was a smile on her face.

"Well. That was fun. Now for classical music!"

"But…"

"What? What's wrong?"

"I… I didn't…"

"Come on, it's only fair we take turns."

"I just… I didn't want to fuse…"

"This always happens when we dance. Are you okay? We can split if you want…"

"It's just… Can we?"

"Yeah…"

There was a second where Stevonnie stood still and the glow came back. Having fused so many times, they didn't fall to the ground like they did when they were children. They came out of it like it was just another twirl to the dance. Steven rubbed his arm and Connie saw.

"Steven? What's wrong?"

"Um, I'm not sure." He tightened his curly ponytail and huffed.

"Go ahead and play that old song you wanted to play for me."

"Okay…" She said and gave him a weary glance. Connie put her player next to his phone and pressed play. A sweet melody started to play. It was soft piano, gentle and calming. after a minute Steven smiled a bit.

"I actually like it."

"See? All kinds of music are-"

She stopped talking when he slipped his hand into hers. She looked down at their hands and back to him.

"Steven?"

"Can we dance? Just… dance? Just you and me. Separate?"

She nodded and he lead her across the living room floor. Their fingers intertwined and his free hand rested on her hip.

There was the feeling again. That hot necked, stomach flipping feeling. But they both felt it this time. Connie gulped and rested her hand on his shoulder like a traditional ballroom dance would begin. Before she knew it, he was leading them in a waltz. She smiled and blushed.

"Since when can you waltz?"

"I picked it up." He smiled and they both laughed.

The spinning and perfect steps had his head swimming. What was this feeling he was feeling? He couldn't look away from her eyes and even with the pink glow between them, he forced himself to stay separate. The feeling was foreign. It was like trying to hold your breath. Drinking too much water at once. it was a feeling of preventing something that had become natural to them. But something else was happening. That feeling, that overwhelming feeling that made his heart rate double was keeping him from fusing.

The song ended and they stopped dancing, but their hands stayed where they were. He couldn't look away from her face. He didn't know why but he just couldn't. A voice came from the temple door.

"You didn't fuse." Pearl said softly.

"I didn't want to." He answered without looking away. Connie blushed and looked to Pearl.

"Why not Steven? I thought you loved being with Connie."

"I do. I really like being fused together. It's the best. But… I think I just found something better."

Pearl scoffed.

"Steven, what could bring you closer than fusion?"

Connie looked back to Steven and he has a smile on his face.

"Physically feeling your dance partner."

He didn't mean it the way it sounded but Pearl blushed anyway. She came and separated the two of them.

"Okay, I think that's enough dancing for today. You need more lessons to perfect those steps, I saw a lot of mistakes in your leading." She said as she dragged Steven away.

"Wait, Pearl, stop!" He said and she let go, looking surprised at him.

He walked back over to Connie and smiled. He picked her up from the waist and spun her around. She was so surprised she just laughed and closed her eyes. He put her down and she looked up at him.

"Lets learn all kinds of dancing, okay?"

"O-okay." She said and blushed. He pulled her in for a hug before he left with Pearl, leaving Connie with the same feeling she had before. Only she had a name for it. It was the beginning of a crush.


	2. Chapter 2 : Goodbye

Not every goodbye is sweet and well timed. Not everything goes according to plan. And not everything is fair.

X

A van pulled up to the familiar beach house, the whole sandy shore over shadowed by the enormous temple. Midday was a good time to start the preparations and Steven, as usual, had a very particular vision.

"Dad! Just in time!"

Greg laughed and stepped out of his mobile home. His hair had gotten grey streaks over the years as Steven grew into a young man but that didn't stop him from rocking it as long as he could.

"Hey bud! I got all the supplies you asked for in the back. Want to help unload?"

"Awesome, thanks!"

"Steven?" Pearl asked as she walked down the sand path from their home. "Are you going to start?"

"Mmhmm. You can help if you want."

"Of course. We adore Connie and we know how important she is to you."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to miss this big guy." Amethyst said from behind her, Garnet nodding in agreement. Steven smiled and they all unpacked the supplies from the van.

Steven was very good at giving directions and his moms and dad were very good at understanding his particular vision by this age. It took them the rest of the afternoon to finish everything. As the sun was setting on the beach, Steven looked over the stage they had constructed, the wonderful banner, the balloons, and all the audio equipment. Not to mention Greg's finesse with stage lighting. He smiled wide just as a little blue car pulled up next to the beach. He ran to the door and Connie laughed at the scene as she opened the door. They hugged and she had twinkles in her eyes.

"Steven… I thought we agreed on just a small get-together?"

"It's just us. You, me, Lion, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, and my dad. That's it."

"Then what's with the stage?"

"That's where the real party is!" He said and grabbed her hand as she closed the door. They walked down to the others and everyone greeted her warmly. Connie looked around and blushed, folding her hands together as an old habit.

"Guys, I think this is a little over the top, don't you think?"

"Nothing is too good for my jam buddy." He elbowed and winked. She laughed and rolled her eyes. He was never going to get over that. She looked to the banner. It read 'We'll miss you'. It was heart wrenching and lovely at the same time. She resigned to the fact that despite her going off to college, this was really her family. Even more so than her biological mother and father.

The sun set and the lights were turned on, making the beach look like a wonderful concert scene. Steven and Connie had shared many dances and songs over the years and they were all on a playlist, playing form the stage speakers as everyone danced just to enjoy each other's company. An hour into the dancing Steven split from the group and stepped on stage. The music went quiet and he smiled as he grabbed a pink electric bass with roses all over it. Steven tightened his tie around his curly hair, tapped on the mic awkwardly, and laughed nervously.

"Okay, so I know we were supposed to just dance and have a good time… but the truth is you're leaving. And I just need to play you this song. I need you to know…" He gulped and took in a deep breath. The silence was so long he refused to finish his thoughts and just started to play. It was a soft melody and he closed his eyes, getting lost in the song.

"When your legs don't work like they used to before. And I can't sweep you off your feet. Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will you eyes still smile from your cheeks?"

Connie covered her mouth in a gasp and blushed. No one around them knew what this song was but she did. And it was going to be completely embarrassing for both of them.

"And darling I, will, be loving you, till we're 70. And baby my, heart, could still fall as, hard at 17."

She smiled. He changed the lyrics.

"And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways; Maybe just the touch of a hand." He finally opened his eyes and looked right into her soul. "Well me - I fall in love with you every single day. And I just wanna tell you I am." His next few chords were very pronounced and his face got red. "So honey now… Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. Maybe we found love right where we are." He motioned for her to come on stage with him. He had used an effects pedal to record the entire first verse and he took of the guitar and continued to sing.

"When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades." The gems looked to Greg and he blushed. "And the crowds don't remember my name." She came to him and he took her hands, stroking them and paying close attention to her slender fingers.

"When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mmhm. I know you will still love me the same." He took her and pulled her closer, starting to dance with her. He had a backup mic clipped to his shirt. He twirled her and smiled.

"Oh Connie your, soul, could never grow, old, it's evergreen. And Connie your, smile's, forever in my mind and memory." They flowed across the stage effortlessly, forgetting their family was watching the whole time.

"I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe it's all part of a plan." He spun her into his arms and their eyes met and she was so happy she forget this was a sad occasion.

"Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes, hoping that you'll understand. Baby now…" He twirled her again. "Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. Maybe we found love just where we are."

He finished and stepped on the pedal and turned it off. Connie was smiling and both of them were blushing furiously. Their family was clapping and Steven took her by surprise and kissed her cheek.

She was left on the stage as he took his leave. She was moved and instead of making a speech, she had a better idea. Music had always been a part of her relationship with him and this was the perfect opportunity.

"Does anyone have a piano?" She laughed and Greg stood up.

"Actually I have a keyboard."

"And I can get you a chair form the house." Pearl offered.

"Could you?"

As the adults ran around Steven wanted to ask what she was doing but he also wanted to see the surprise. It was rare that Connie was spontaneous and he wanted to see where this was going. Once she was set up she adjusted the mic and sat down.

"Steven… you know how much you mean to me. You are all important to me. And I just need to express it. This is the best way I know how, thank you for teaching me. All of you. I just… I care so much." She took a deep breath. "Here we go."

She started with a beautiful but melancholy tune. She focused her eyes on the keys and just let go of her apprehension, just as Steven had.

"Come up to meet you. Tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are."

Everyone knew this song. And everyone was all at once holding back tears.

"I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart."

"Connie…" Steven whispered and he held his chest, Pearl looking between him and Connie and understanding what love between two humans looks like. What deep love looks like. It was much like the connection she had with Rose and it broke her heart to know they would be apart.

"Tell me your secrets, asking you questions, oh lets go back to the start. Running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart." She stopped playing for just one line. "Nobody said it was easy…" She played a few notes. "It's such a shame for us to part." At this point she was swallowing her tears and choking back sobs because right now, in this moment, she needed to let this spill out. Tears could come out later.

"Nobody said it was easy… no one ever said it would be this hard." The keyboard was silent. "Oh take me back to the start." She began again with keys that were emotionally gripping and perfect in with her touch.

"I was just guessing, at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science, science and progress, don't' speak as loud as my heart." She looked form her keyboard and straight to him, unafraid and desperate to convey how she felt.

"Tell me you love me. Come back and haunt me. Oh and I rush to the start. Running in circles. Chasing our tails. Coming back just as we are." Her hands dropped.

"Nobody said this was easy. It's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said this was easy. But nobody said it would be this hard."

She dropped her eyes and tried not to let her tears come out.

"Nobody said it was easy." Her fingers found the keys again. "Oh it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard…." She smiled and sniffed.

"Steven?" She asked softly, pausing on the keyboard. their eyes met again she looked through tears.

"I'm going back to the start." She let tears finally fall from her eyes and Steven rushed toward her, hugging her and letting her tears stain his shirt. She sniffed and Pearl started to stand, wanting to comfort Connie but a hand came on her shoulder. Garnet held her back and walked to the stage, wrapping her arms around both of them.

"Steven, Connie." They both looked up at her and she was soft in her tone. "You won't be apart for long. Long in a human sense, but not in the long run. You will be together again soon."

Connie and Steven smiled and nodded, wiping away tears. They knew Garnet was right, even without seeing the future.

Garnet paused and smiled. She saw something in her mind but was good at keeping secrets.

"This is supposed to be a party right? Let's have some fun."

Steven laughed and they all took their leave off the stage. Greg disassembled the keyboard stand and Steven played some fun music. They danced for a little while longer before Amethyst hijacked the system and dropped her current favorite song. The guitar started and Steven gasped and looked immediately to Connie. She nodded and the family of gems, Lion, and Greg made a circle for them to dance in. It was their song. The song that they danced to and Steven decided not to fuse. Back then, he didn't have a choice. Today he did. He smiled and looked straight at her. They always changed the lyrics to fit their needs.

"Oh don't you dare look back!"

She smiled and jumped right in with him.

"Just keep your eyes on me! I know you're holding back!"

"Oh just shut up and dance with me!"

"We are each other's destiny!"

Amethyst screamed from the circle. "Oo-oo-OO!"

Everyone chimed in and screamed, "Shut up and dance with me!"

Connie and Steven laughed and danced like it was the last thing they would ever do. By the end of the song a pink glow engulfed the beach and where the two young adults once stood, there was a grown woman in skinny jeans and a red-sleeved light blue tunic with a yellow star on the front. Stevonnie laughed and stayed fused for the rest of the night. When the dancing was getting exhausting and the night was growing deeper, Greg and the gems started to put everything away.

"I'm taking a walk." She said and everyone waved to her.

Stevonnie walked up to the top of the cliff and laid on her back, staring at the stars.

"I think I'm going to miss this most."

"The party or fusion?"

"Fusion. I can go to parties at the university if I really want to, but you guys won't be there so I don't think I could dance or even have fun."

She was quiet for a while, wrestling with their thoughts. Inside their mind, their fusion resembled the two of them sitting on the beach and holding hands. They were still separate, but together over all. Her two hands came over her ribcage and the fingers interlaced.

"Maybe Pearl and Garnet can build a warp pad in your room. Then I can come visit you."

She laughed and bent one knee to let her toes dig into the grass.

"If only it were that easy."

"I know. But I made us laugh."

She smiled and closed her eyes.

"I can hear what you're thinking. You need to go."

"I really don't though. I can forget about College. My place in here, with you and Pearl and Amethyst and Garnet. And Lion and Greg. And… Lapis. I need to help you save this world."

"I need you to be far away from here. There is a big battle on the horizon and I want you far away. If something were to happen to you…" Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and she wiped them away.

"Nothing would happen, I am perfectly capable of helping. I am master swordsman. Pearl said so. I am an asset."

"You're my asset."

There was a pause and a glow. Stevonnie separated and the two lay next to each other looking up at the stars.

"Connie. I just can't lose you. And your parents want you to have the best opportunities in life you can. So please, go. If not for them, for me."

Connie turned her head to look at him and he was looking at the stars so intently she couldn't imagine what was going through his mind. She sighed and took his hand looking up to the stars.

"At least we have Skype."

"At least we have Skype." He mirrored and nodded, wrapping his fingers around hers.


	3. Chapter 3 : Longing

The first semester was easy. Steven and Connie either texted, skyped, or called each other every day. There was always communication. Over winter break and after exams she came home and Steven saw her for a few days. It was hard for him to let her go the second time, saying goodbye for what he thought might be the second of hundreds of times.

The second semester was more difficult. It went down to hearing from her every other day, even if it was just a "Just saying hi" text. Skype was down to once a week. And calling was non-existent.

She excelled in her studies with no surprise and pushed her bachelor's quicker by taking her summer semester with a few AP classes. Third semester was when it was starting to fall apart. She stopped texting. She wouldn't answer her Skype calls. All phone calls went straight to voicemail. It got to a point where he hadn't heard from her in over three weeks.

Steven sighed and closed his laptop and flung himself back onto his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something other than her.

"Why isn't she answering? Is there a disruption in your communication line?" Peridot asked and he just shook his head.

"Well, if she's on the other side of this planet, maybe she is in stasis."

"Peridot... She's only up a few states. 400 miles I think?" He said and sat back up.

"Really? Why don't you just go see her."

"Peridot it's not that easy." Steven was already annoyed and really not wanting to explain this to her. He couldn't just show up on campus and interrupt her studies. This was human stuff. This wasn't something Peridot could understand in a few easy sentences. He exhaled through his nose and looked over to her. She had those eyes. Those curious eyes that always made him feel better and gave him hope because she always wanted to understand. A hand came to Peridot's shoulder.

"Peridot, could I talk with Steven privately?" Garnet asked softly.

She shrugged and walked down the stairs. Steven looked up to Garnet and watched her come to his side and sit next to him. He stared at the floor and heard her visor disappear. There was a heavy silence between them before she spoke.

"Steven?"

He looked over to her. Her face was empathetic.

"I know we've been over this but I think you need a reminder. This is temporary. Connie will come back to us." She placed a hand on his. "Back to you."

"Garnet, I'm not trying to sound rude, but a few years is nothing you guys. It's just a little blip in time to you. But for me... I'm 19. Three more years of this feels like it's going to kill me. I just..." He started tear up a bit. "Garnet, I miss her so much. I almost feel like she's starting to forget about us. She wouldn't, would she?" He asked sincerely and looked to her like he had so many times when he was younger.

Garnet gripped his hand and leaned in and kissed his forehead. He saw a very quick blend of Connie and himself and everyone on the beach, fighting monsters, and living together. As quick as it came it was gone. He couldn't see the details but the message was clear.

"How could she forget about anyone as special as you?"

He smiled for a second and then frowned again.

"Still... time is going so slow. I feel like I'm half myself. I'm going crazy." He sighed. "I don't even know if you can understand."

Garnet was quiet for a while and turned to face him. He looked up to her and she looked like she was trying to pick her words carefully.

"Remember when you first found Ruby in that cell on Peridot's ship?"

He was quiet but nodded.

"She was feeling exactly how you are feeling right now. She was alone. She was lost. She was angry. And most of all, she felt incomplete. Without Sapphire, she really didn't know who she was anymore. They had been together for so long that when they were separated, Ruby actually forgot she couldn't use visions of the future to try and find Sapphire. "

"But Garnet..." He felt frustrated because he couldn't explain this properly. "I need Connie here, but I don't want to fuse. I just want to sing with her, to laugh with her..." He looked down at their hands. "To hold her hand. She's like my other half, but we don't have to be a fusion to be complete, we just need to be together."

"And you will be together. I know it feels like an eternity, but I promise it will be over soon. You saw it for yourself." She said with a smile and gripped his hand before leaving.

He watched her all the way to the temple door and looked down to see Lapis and Peridot in an engaging conversation by the warp pad. Amethyst and Pearl hadn't been seen that day.

He looked at his phone and it was a little after seven in the evening. He decided to try and call her. It rang once before the greeting; "Hey it's Connie! Leave a brief message and I'll get back soon!"

He ended the call and tossed his phone to the side. He had so many things swimming inside his head he did the only thing he knew how to do. He grabbed his acoustic guitar and left the house.

As he sat on the beach he wanted to appreciate the blazing sky over the ocean but for some reason he just couldn't. There was too much ache in his chest. He played with the tuning and strummed a few time out a tune that felt right to him. The words just came naturally to him.

"I don't always sing love songs. I'm not good at poetry. Hardly cry at the movies, but somehow I feel weak. I would never talk about it; Never let it get too deep. But something in me's changing...Guess you did something to me."

He took a breath and it felt a little better, but it just kept coming.

"'Cause for the first time I get worried, when I look into your eyes. That one day you might leave me, and it keeps me up at night. I guess it means I really love you, 'cause I'm afraid to make mistakes. If you ever left me... it would be my first heartbreak."

"And maybe I shouldn't be thinking so far ahead. I should just enjoy our moments, and be happy for what I get. But it's really not that easy, to get out of my head."

His voice was a little softer, feeling better.

"So I guess that it's a good thing... when you want something so bad."

He took in a breath and stared out onto the ocean, able to appreciate it a bit more. His chest ached less, but the throbbing was still there.

"Steven?"

He turned around, startled, and saw Pearl with her hands folded. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how long she had been there. Half of him didn't care, but the half that did made him stand up immediately. His neck felt hot and he felt a rush of butterflies in his stomach but his outer mask kept him clam.

"Steven..." Pearl said softly and came up to him, able to look him eye to eye thanks to his growth spurt. She took a hand and ran it down his cheek, cupping his face.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Steven looked down into her palm.

"I'm not sure... what to say."

"Well, you know what to sing, it seems." She smiled and he smiled.

"These emotions of growing up are hard. And I feel like they are literally weighing me down. But I don't want them to leave. It's almost like I... like I somehow enjoy this pain?" He laughed and pressed his hand against hers, burying himself further out of embarrassment. "It makes no sense."

Pearl smiled again in a bittersweet way and gave him a hug. When she pulled back she saw a tear running down his cheek.

"It makes perfect sense. I've seen this a few thousand times with humans, and a few times between gems. I've even experienced it myself. It's not easy, but easy wouldn't make it as worth it as it is."

"What, these emotions?"

"No, love. Love is worth everything. All the money you have, everything you own, everyone you know. It's worth much more than can be measured. Love is the whole basis for why I'm here. It's why you exist. It's the reason many people exist, as outcomes of love."

She took her hand back and looked him over.

"Love." He said and looked down. "I love her." He said to try out the words.

"You do. You always have. It's hard to pin down such a raw and terrifying emotion in one word, but humans have compiled all of the knowledge of what love can do and what it causes us to do and how it actually feels into the definition itself."

"So... what do I do now?"

"That's a good question. And I think you need to figure it out for yourself. I'm not the best person to talk to about love." She turned and started walking back towards the house where he saw Amethyst watching through the window.

"Who is then? Garnet? My dad?"

Pearl paused and looked back to him.

"You should probably start with the main person of interest. Talk to Connie."

Pearl went into the house and he looked down at the sand. He kicked a foot full and grumbled to himself.

"That's the whole problem. I can't get in touch with her."

He groaned again and followed pearl's trail with heavy steps into the house to set down his guitar. When he came in, Lapis and Peridot were on the couch while the other three were at the kitchen counter, all silent and staring at him. He looked around and his neck got hot.

"Uh, sorry. Did I interrupt something?"

They all exchanged a glance and Lapis elbowed Peridot who gave a small yelp.

"Fine!"

She got up and came over to Steven, holding his computer. She brought up a screen and showed Steven what she had done.

"What's this?" He looked and he got the biggest smile on his face.

"Connie! Hey! Where have you been?"

"Steven she can't hear you."

"What?" He asked, baffled because she was right there, looking right at him through the computer screen.

"I-um... well... You were so worried about her that I decided to collect data from her computer camera to see if she was still okay. You know, for your sake."

"So... you hacked her webcam?"

Peridot shrugged and had a nervous smile.

"Okay, that's a sweet thought but super creepy Peridot. You can't just invade her privacy like that! Shut it down." He said and tried to pass off the laptop.

"Before she does, you should look at the background." Lapis said softly.

He raised his eyebrow and looked into the background of Connie's dorm room. It was full of pictures of Lion and Steven and herself and Stevonnie and all the gems.

"Wow, she's way better at drawing than I am."

"Steven, her major is accounting but her minor is art. Peridot looked at her classes and so far, we've all been her subjects for her art finals. Including you."

Steven smiled and blushed and closed the laptop, handing it over to Peridot. He was quiet for a few long seconds before sighing and looking to the room.

"Thanks guys... she really hasn't forgotten."

Lapis laughed.

"How could she forget you."

He smiled and nodded.

"But don't ever do that again." He pointed at Peridot. "Super. Creepy."

She shrugged and Garnet smiled in the background.


	4. Chapter 4 : Watercolor

This professor really had no clue how boring he was. Talking about 'structure' and 'poise' as if he were Leonardo himself. Connie rolled her eyes. She was so happy to almost be done with this class. Having taken summer classes, this would be her final semester of 'art lessons'. She scoffed at the thought; That you could teach art. Technique, sure. But not the passion and vision that someone has in their mind. Someone like Monet, Van Gough, even lesser known artists like Ian Francis and Yoskay Yamamoto. They had passion, they had vision, and they are great artists. Not some failed art student who had to resort to trying to teach the very subject he was defeated by decades ago.

She rested her head in her hand and closed her eyes for just a moment to let her mind go blank, back to a better time when she saw the sun, had plenty of sleep, and fun adventures with Steven. Oh... Steven.

Thinking about him grasped her heart and made her stomach ache. She missed him so much. The voicemails, the texts she never sent, the missed calls from him. Guilt gripped her and she felt like she was going to be sick. As much as she missed him, she literally had no time. She had classes from 8:00am to 7:00pm with maybe an hour around 1:00pm to get in a meal. Then she had to get back to her dorm room, get her homework done for all the classes she was taking, fit in another meal, shower, do whatever stupid chore had been piling up, and do all of that before getting into bed at midnight to get maybe seven hours of sleep before doing it all over again. She hadn't meant to cut off contact, time just slipped by. Days became weeks. Weeks became months and before she knew it, it was a whole new semester.

She groaned softly and opened her eyes, trying to pay attention rather than deal with the anxiety/depression/guilt trip that was the package of missing Steven. Her groan caught the attention of the professor and he asked a question and called on her. She hesitated.

"It depends on the subject's light sources and angles and or curves of the subject."

"That's correct, for realism." He said with a condescending tone.

"It only applies to realism, sir." She said without panic of backlash or a hint of mirroring patronization. The class seemed to stop and stare at the invisible war between Connie and her professor. She collected her things and walked toward the door, grabbing her final assignment sheet off the desk.

"Goodbye." She said and left. Outside the building, the air had that smell of crisp snow but there were no clouds in sight. Just a star or so peeking through the light pollution the city provided. She shuddered in her sweater and headed towards her dorm, her watch reading that of about 7:45. She wasn't really concerned with leaving class early and how it would affect her grade.

Her dorm room was small but clean and warm. She let her supplies and laptop slide onto her bed as she sank into her chair, laying the assignment sheet on her desk. It was the outline for her final. The piece that will cement her grade into place forever. And it was as vague as could be.

The top said 'Subject: Your Heart', and the description was so short and indistinct it left room for creativity and also laziness. The particulars read 'Make a piece about your heart. Make your style a clear choice and be able to present it to the class on November 18. Your oral presentation must be at least 7 minutes'.

"My heart?" She repeated out loud and tossed the sheet down. The paper swayed back and forth before landing face down, unyielding to give the satisfying thud she wanted. She crossed her arms.

"What does that even mean? Does he want my literal heart? Like an anatomical piece? Or..." She looked around her room and her imagination bloomed into shades of Lapis water wings and rose petals on rivers. Sword fighting ballerinas and small titans. A person made up of more than just brains and brawn. That's when it hit her. That was her heart. She smiled and pulled out her water colors and went to work.

She outlined snow around a frozen lake.

"Use the sleeves of my sweater, let's have an adventure. Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered. " She sang softly.

The lake had anonymous skaters and bystanders at one side, but the focus was on the closer left side, where a green bush was in full bloom of large pink roses, defying the season.

"One love, one house. Just us, you'll find out."

Around the bush the snow melted and grass was prevalent and the lake was like spring on that shore.

"'Cause it's too cold for you here, so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater."

She painted in light blue a star where the edge of the snow was, to mimic someone drawing in the snow.

"I miss the beach, yet here I stand. In Cambridge City with the snow to my hands."

She added the palest blue wings to a bystander and a soft brown square around another's head.

"One love, two mouths. One love, one house." She blushed but continued to paint a flexible skater out on the ice with a graceful stance and another smaller person trying her best.

"So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater."

She finished and was happy with the outcome. She let her chores wait and skipped supper, getting herself to bed to allow for some well deserved rest.

The next morning was brutal. It was discourse after discourse about finals. She still had two weeks left of school before winter break and she just had to keep it together. As she got her assignments she powered through her finals early, focusing on one each day. For some of her classes, this was actually her last semester, just like her art classes. She really pushed herself this summer and it was all about to pay off.

The next week was a blur. She was pumping out theses like she was a machine. Each was impeccable, but lacking the tender care her art final had.

After getting everything else out of the way, her final class was finally here. November 18. She walked into the class with her final in a sealed tube and sat quietly. When it was her turn she stood, grabbed an easel and two clips to keep the piece displayed temporarily. She cleared her throat and looked to her class.

"To begin, being assigned a mandatory seven minute speech about our piece is absolutely ridiculous unless you want to hear my entire life story. It's a harsh restriction on a subject that is anything but restrictive. So you can time this, but I prefer quality over quantity." She paused for effect and spotted a scowl on her professor's face. It pleased her, but she didn't show it. She stayed polite.

"This is a landscape piece in watercolor, which seems simple enough but it's also a conceptual piece. This frozen field is where I am now. I'm stuck like the grass until spring. The lake is, in a sense, a playground for my mind to fall back on when I am too overwhelmed. The people playing in the snow and skating on the ice are the people I left behind and the people who matter to me."

"What's with the spring on the other side?" A student asked. She blushed.

"That's my heart. The rose bush is where my heart is, and my heart is always warm and new when this bush holds my heart for me. It's never frozen, it's never still, it's never barren. My heart is full of life and love with this bush and everything around us seems to melt into spring with us. You can't see my heart without seeing a picture of my mind so I call this piece 'The Rebellious Spring'."

A few students clapped wholeheartedly and her professor's face was actually soft and intrigued. She smiled and took down her piece, storing it away in a safe spot. After the rest has presented their finals they were each called up to the professor's desk to receive their final score. He made sure Connie was last.

"Maheswaran", he beckoned her. She held her piece to her side and took a neutral stance at his desk. He was silent and scribbling down something before looking up to her. he narrowed his eyes and tossed his pen onto the desk.

"I'm not sure I've ever had a student so lively and at the same time so infuriating."

She was silent.

"You should have majored in English because you surely have mastered a language in order to insult me while being a good student and civil at that."

All she wanted was her grade. None of this mattered.

"Mr. Collins, please. I have been through a tough few weeks. Can't I just have my grade so I can start heading home?"

"I can't decide how to grade you. That's the problem." He paused and crossed his arms. "As much trouble as you've been, as many times as you and I have not been on the same page... I can't deny the beauty of your projects. There is so much emotion in them that's raw and painful, yet the art is soft and light in watercolors or pastels. You are telling two different stories with your art and I can't tell which one is real. Sometimes I can't even tell if you thought about it at all or if it just happened. So which is it?"

She was confused and didn't answer.

"Are you a prodigy or a fraud?"

She shrugged her shoulders and couldn't help but smile.

"Pardon the pun professor, but art is subjective."

He was quiet for a few ticks before a smile spread across his face. He grabbed his pen and made a quick scribble, passing her a piece of paper.

"Your grade will be uploaded over the weekend, but since I won't see you, congratulations."

She looked at the paper and saw a 3.9 written on her transcript. She looked at it and raised an eyebrow.

"3.9?"

"Well, you owe me a fraction for being a pain in my ass."

She smiled and they both laughed.

She left with her head held high and could wait to start packing. She was coming home.


	5. Chapter 5 : Snow Pictures

The snow fell hard outside Steven's window. The light flurries that started earlier had turned into nothing short of a blizzard by sundown. He sat on his bed and watched the moon illuminate each cluster of flakes as it plummeted towards the pile already growing against the sill.

"I can't believe how fast this came up." He said softly, adjusting his zipper.

"I tried to tell you." Garnet said softly, lounging on the couch.

Steven's lips turned into a hard line and side eyed her. He exhaled and walked down the stairs in his hoodie and pajama pants and sat by the fireplace. The wind was life a lost wolf outside, scraping against the roof and finding any tiny crack in the siding it could to howl and whistle through.

"I hope Lapis and Peridot are gonna be okay."

"They'll be fine. They're not so breakable like you." Amethyst said and poked him in the stomach. He smiled.

"I know that part. I know they won't be cold, I just don't want them stuck out there. What if something happens and they need to warp here and they can't find the warp pad?" He stood quickly and ran for his boots.

"I should go dig them out."

"Steven-"

"Garnet, I'll be fine. I just want to help."

"Steven. The door."

He paused with boots in hand, confused until a few quick raps came at the door. He turned and opened the door, completely surprised at who was in front of him.

"Hey Steven." She said softly, shivering with the snow up to her knees.

"Connie!" He was happy to see her, but that quickly faded when he saw her condition. "What are you doing out in a blizzard?!" He swiftly picked her up princess style and kicked the door closed. Connie was used to his amazing strength that this was no chore for him at all, nor did she really want to fight it. The gems came close and Pearl spoke first.

"She's so flushed and there's frost in her hair! Connie, what were you thinking?"

"I just... wanted to come home." She said and sniffed and coughed into Steven's chest. He frowned and shook his head.

"You're ice cold. You could have died out there."

She was quiet and just let her head rest into him. He sighed, defeated and looked to Pearl.

"Can you get her a hot bath?"

"No, I have to go get my stuff." She wiggled and tried to get out of his grip but Garnet put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll get your things, you focus on your health."

She nodded and Steven effortlessly passed her off to Pearl. He turned to Amethyst as they left and frowned.

"Do you think she might be sick?"

"Even if she is, all you gotta do is pucker up and she'll be better." She laughed and punched his arm. He laughed awkwardly to try and shrug off the idea. Steven waited outside by the fireplace for her. Garnet brought in two small suit cases and Pearl came out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She looked to the suit cases and cracked them open.

"I hope she packed for winter." She said and shook her head, gathering a fresh set of clothing that would be warm and comfortable. Steven interrupted.

"Pearl? Is she doing okay?"

She closed the suitcase with her arm full of clothes and looked to him.

"I think it's just a cold. But I won't know for sure until I get her body temperature back up. Give me some time Steven." She paused and smiled softly. "I'm sure she'll be fine." She reentered the bathroom and the house was silent. He felt like he was waiting for hours. The longer those two were hidden away, the more his anxiety ran ramped.

When Pearl opened the bathroom door he stood up quickly, as if surprised. Connie followed Pearl slowly and held her hands together. With her oversized sweater, yoga pants, and fuzzy socks, she was surely going to stay warm. She looked up at him and waved. He rushed forward and picked her up into a hug.

"Steven! Be careful!" Pearl said, worried about his emotions and strength combining in a horrible way. He ignored her. He knew not to crush Connie. He held her close and buried his head into her shoulder.

"Why would you come in the middle of a storm? You are so frustrating." He said she smiled, hugging him back.

"I prefer... adventurous."

He laughed and put her down. He was finally face to face with her after what felt like forever. His palm framed her face and she blushed.

"I'm just glad you're safe."

"Me too." She smiled and touched her hand to his. Neither could think of what to say next and in the time that it took for them to think of something, Connie turned and let out a long string of hacking coughs.

"Oh no, you are sick." He frowned.

"It's okay, it's just a cold." She sniffed. He looked worried but she shook it off. "Really, with some tea and some rest I'll be fine."

"Oh! I'll make the Tea!" Pearl said, making Connie laugh a little.

"And there's no place like home to rest." Steven said, "But make sure you call your parents to tell them you got here safely."

She nodded and they sat on the couch together. Pearl brought them tea and when all the conversations had faded, Connie admitted with droopy eyes that she might need some rest. The gems excused themselves, save for Amethyst who punched Steven in the arm again as if to say 'Good luck with the healing kiss Romeo' and he gave her a hard stare until the temple door shut.

Connie pulled her legs up onto the couch and yawned.

"I just need you to throw me an extra pillow and blanket. I'll be okay here."

"No way."

She looked confused, as if he was going to kick her out.

"See that huge, soft, warm bed up there?" He asked as he pointed up the stairs. "That's where you're sleeping."

Connie smiled. "You don't have to give up your bed Steven. I'm the one who arrived unannounced. Kind of rude I guess." She smiled and started to laugh but it turned into another hacking fit. Steven shook his head and slipped his arm under her legs and supported her back with the other, picking her up again.

"Bed. Now."

She took in a breath and tried to joke.

"I can walk you know." She rasped. He ignored her in worry. He adjusted his hold when he reached the top of the stairs to pull back the thick comforter. He laid her down softly and covered her, sitting on the side of the bed to finish their conversation. After a few moments it seemed it wasn't going to pick back up. She coughed again and tried to suppress it to dilute his anxieties over her but it didn't work. He looked down and decided to go get some sleep on the couch.

"Just get some rest okay? Call your parents tomorrow. Don't worry about anything tonight." He started to stand and a warm hand found his and he turned to her.

"I just want some company. I can scoot over."

He hesitated but nodded and she scooted over under the covers and he laid next to her on top of the covers. Their hands stayed intertwined and that seemed to keep both of them calm. Her wheezing slowed and soon she was asleep without a care in the world. He smiled and looked at her face; still flushed from the cold but relaxed and exhausted. He smirked and let go of her hand, running his fingers around the frame of her face. He was so happy to see her... She had no idea how much he missed her.

As the night went on she shifted and he let her rest on his chest, watching over her like a mother hen. He frowned and sang softly to her, not knowing if she could hear or not.

"Loving can hurt. Loving can hurt sometimes... but it's the only thing that I know."

He shifted his hand to play with her hair.

" When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes. It is the only thing that makes us feel alive."

He shifted his view to the wall, seeing a collage of them together over the years with his family of gems and humans.

"We keep this love in our photographs. We made these memories for ourselves; Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, time's forever frozen still."

He looked back down to her, fully asleep and remembered all the art she had made.

"So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans. Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet. You won't ever be alone. I'll wait for you to come home."

He smiled and kissed her forehead, knowing she'd be better when she woke up. He relaxed his body and tried to get some sleep beside her. just as he was drifting he heard her singing softly, voice mended.

"Loving can heal."

He blushed and looked down at her, her face red.

"Loving can mend your soul, and it's the only thing that I know."

She met his eyes and smiled.

"I swear it will get easier, remember that with every piece of ya..."

He joined in with her.

"And it's the only thing we take with us when we die."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, showing him her lock screen. It was them together as kids, making stupid faces on the beach.

"I keep our love in my photographs. We made these memories for ourselves"

They both sang to each other.

"Where our eyes are never closing, our hearts are never broken, time's forever frozen still. So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer 'till our eyes meet, you won't ever be alone."

"You just had to wait for me to come home." Connie said softly and Steven smiled, burying her in a hug. She smiled and held him close. When he let go they both sat up.

"Connie, I missed you so much. How long are you home for?"

"I'm done."

"What?" He was confused, trying to count in his head her semesters.

"I worked over the entire summer so I am done. Four semesters down. I'm home, forever."

"That's great news!" he smiled. Her hand rested on his and she flushed.

"For the record, I missed you like crazy too." She said softly. They both were caught in each other's stare and she smiled again.

"And thanks for kissing me better."

"Yeah, nothing to it." He said and blushed. She sensed he was feeling awkward and put a hand on his arm.

"Steven? What's wrong? I'm not mad."

"Hmm? Oh I know you're not. I just... I've got a lot on my mind is all."

She was quiet before trying to drag it out of him.

"Steven, you have to let things out. You can't bottle them up. It's not good."

He shook his head and she folded her arms.

"Steven?"

He didn't look at her.

"Steven."

He was cracking.

"Steven Quartz Universe!"

"OKAY! Okay!" He said and turned to her, feeling like he was going to puke. He was wrestling with his words and he felt the seconds ticking by where he was silent. He just had to get it out so he could feel better, but he was scared of the consequences. However, word vomit never chose a good time.

"Look, when you were gone I missed you so much my chest was aching and I couldn't figure out what was wrong and then I did and I've been dealing with that huge bomb and I just don't know what to say to you or what you'll say to me. I'm scared."

"Steven..." She said and held his face with both of her hands. "Just calmly tell me what's going on."

He reached for her hands and lowered them to the bed, holding them fast against his own. He didn't know what else to say but the truth.

"Connie, I know I love you. I've always known that. You're my best friend. But when you were gone I figured it out. Connie... I'm _in love_ with you too."


	6. Chapter 6 : Together

Connie was struck with a lightning bolt of shock. She was silent and her eyes were ghostly still. He didn't want to prompt her for words, slightly hoping she hadn't heard him correctly.

She had heard him however. Emotions and places and events from the last 5 years were spinning in her head like a chaotic flip animation made of her teenage years. Her heart was pounding and her face was hot. So, so hot. She couldn't breathe.

Connie scolded herself to come together to respond. She took in a breath and blinked. How long had the silence dragged on, she wondered. It felt like hours but in reality it was just a few seconds. A few very painful seconds between confession and her lack of response as she came back down to Earth.

Out of all the emotions she could pick out, the one that shined the brightest in her mind was relief.

The corners of her eyes betrayed her before she could speak and leaked a couple tears of joy. Just a glistening, but enough for Steven to see.

"Connie! I'm sor-"

He was silenced by her finger and she was smiling. He was so confused as she took her finger back but he was quiet. She looked to him with the easiest smile she had ever made and nervously grasped at her sweater just above her heart.

"Steven..." She said and her shoulders relaxed. "I love you too. I'm in love with you too."

"Really?!" He smiled and was genuinely shocked.

"Yes. And I'm happy you said it first because I was so scared to say it..."

He was sidetracked but asked anyway.

"Why would you be scared to tell me?"

"I was nervous you didn't feel the same or that... maybe... you weren't ready for that type of relationship. I know how important friendship is to you and I didn't want to ruin it or make it weird or just awk-"

She stopped talking because he grasped her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. He hugged her so tightly she had to hold her breath. He stroked a hand down her hair.

"Of course I would feel the same way. You're my best friend in the whole world. You're strong, you're smart, you're bold and not to mention beautiful."

She blushed but he couldn't see.

"And you're my partner. In crime and in battle. And..." He hesitated, not wanting to push too hard. "I just can't imagine my life without you.

You once said you wanted to be a part of my universe, but you're the one who my universe has been revolving around."

She sat up as he let go of her and she was still smiling, softer now.

"Steven Quartz Universe. You impossible wonder-gem. I love you."

Before he could respond she leaned toward him and they experienced their first kiss in what felt like an alternate dimension with infinite time and slowed motion. Their noses collided and he tilted his head just a fraction to get closer. It was instinctual for him, just like his hand grasping for hers. His lips were soft on hers, surprisingly not chapped or rough.

She broke the kiss for just a second to come back in with another. Steven countered by his hand reaching up though her hair to cup her head and enjoyed this infuriating yet wonderful feeling of kissing someone you love on so many levels, some even unspeakable. He was so incredibly happy that he felt like he was floating. Connie was in a similar state. Their happiness and love spun around them like leaves in the wind and suddenly lips were gone and so was feeling.

They opened their eyes and looked around. Steven was missing. No, Connie was missing. No. They looked down. One body. One set of arms. A large pink sweater and ripped leans. Long, curly dark hair and medium-brown skin. They lifted their sweater and looked down at their stomach where the Rose Quartz gem had moved. They sighed and fell back onto the bed, both frustrated and elated. They started to laugh and put a hand on their stomach.

"If this is going to happen every time, we might not be able to kiss. Guess we'll have to work on it." They laughed and blushed.

Stevonnie wasn't really concerned with being fused right now. Too happy for anything to rain on their parade, they got under the covers and fell back asleep together.

...

"Um... maybe go get Garnet?" A raspy voice said.

"I'm worried about what she'll tell us, but I don't see another option." A higher voice agreed.

Stevonnie tried to ignore them and get some sleep. It seemed like only seconds had passed and a hand was lightly shaking them awake. They opened their eyes and saw three looking back at them.

"Stevonnie. Couch. Now."

A sense of fear swept over them and they gulped in anticipation.

A few minutes later, Stevonnie was on the couch in the same clothes they had appeared in last night, bed head, and a smile on their face. Amethyst was holding back laughter. Pearl's expression was switching every second, each face with a blush. Garnet's mood was unreadable, even with no visor. Lapis was comfortably watching with a shade if causality. Peridot was highly curious but it seemed the wrong time to ask questions. The room was tense to say the least.

"What happened?" Garnet asked.

Stevonnie paused to think.

"It's sort of... private?" It wasn't really a question, more of a guess at the right word.

"How 'private' are we talkin'?" Amethyst chimed in and Pearl covered her mouth for her and shushed her.

Stevonnie blushed and shook their head.

"No! Not like that. We just talked." They paused to think again. "Wait, is that even possible for us if this happened? No! It's too soon! No, we're not ready for that. But still I wonder-" They said with a blush.

"Wow. This got real interesting real quick." Lapis crossed her arms and laughed as she sat on the counter.

"So are you stuck like this?" Peridot asked.

Stevonnie's attention was drawn towards the kitchen and they realized just how weird this situation was. Their ears turned red and they crossed their arms.

"I don't know! I didn't even know this happened until-" They stopped and huffed through their nose. "Either way we're both adults so it's really our business! But I don't know how to undo this after..." They stopped talking and were stuck between panic and humiliation.

"Stevonnie?" Garnet asked, concerned.

"I just... we thought we would wake up separate, but we're still together. Probably because we are together now. Wait are we? Yeah, what else would we be? Best friends who just kiss a lot? And kissing is awesome. And I can't kiss like this! I would really like to do that again. But I need to be two people! I love being me though. Oh god, how am I going to call Connie's mom? Ugh, how are we gonna figure this out? Garnet help!" Stevonnie rushed all the words out, as if switching between talking to themselves and the gems.

"Kissing?!" Amethyst said with a wide smile, loving drama.

"Together? How more together can you get besides fusion?" Peridot asked.

Pearl held a hand to her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I already called Priyanka before we woke you up. She knows Connie is here and safe." She said, trying to ignore everything they had just said.

Garnet just laughed and sat back, folding her arms.

"Unfusing is a choice too. You have to want to be Steven and Connie more than you want to be Stevonnie." She said simply. It was not that simple.

"But I feel so much more love fused. But we can't see each other like this. I love feeling like this, but I'd rather feel our hands together." They said and folded their hands in their lap.

They took a deep breath and forcibly unfused, like pushing your right and left side apart. The bright light shrouded them and faded quickly, Connie appearing in Steven's arms, being held princess style with her arms around his neck, her hips in his lap. For a fleeting moment they just looked into each other's eyes before Pearl cleared her throat.

Both of them blushed and Steven set Connie next to him. They both looked down and realized each of them were half dressed. Steven had the old ripped jeans and Connie got the oversized sweater. Steven laughed and made a joke his mothers didn't appreciate.

"Good thing you got the sweater."

She laughed and pushed him.

"Let's not even go there!" She said and he laughed too.

Pearl had to jump in.

"I think I need to call Greg."

"No!" They both said in unison.

"I agree. Greg cannot help with this. I barely can." Garnet said softly and looked out the window thinking.

"It's okay. I got the whole talk from my dad a long time ago when I had a lot of questions about mom." Steven said softly.

"And my mom's a doctor. So you can imagine the talk I was given." Connie said and looked down.

"Is that where this is going?" Pearl said and gestured to the both of them, meaning their relationship.

"That's a little... private." Steven replied while Connie was deep brown with embarrassment.

Pearl sighed at the word and Amethyst looked like she was about to scream. Garnet's expression was softer and more understanding.

"You can keep secrets. Everyone does. Just enjoy being yourselves. You can be together and separate at the same time. You have your human rewards which you know, but it's not exactly something gems do. We're not built for that. So as far as not fusing while enjoying each other's company is concerned, you just have to work hard on it." Garnet's advice was solid and well worded to save them from any more weird questions. They both nodded.

"Now I think you should both go get dressed properly and we'll get some food."

They both smiled and nodded, getting up to grab the clothes that were up on Steven's bed to be completely covered.

Peridot turned to Lapis.

"Do you glean anything from that conversation?"

"Yeah, Steven has a girlfriend." She smiled.

"A girl who is a friend? He's had that."

"No." She leaned down and whispered the explanation into her ear. Peridot blushed blue-green and smiled. She turned back to Lapis.

"I have several questions!"


End file.
